There is nothing more frustrating than feeling stuck in a dead end relationship. Perhaps you’re in it for the kids, or maybe you’re sticking around because you have grown comfortable with your partner.Those are the typical reasons for most people, but you – well, you aren’t “most people”. Your situation is entirely different. You are stuck in your dead in relationship because you and your partner both have herpes.
You may have given it to them, or they may have given it to you – how you contracted it is really besides the point, you want out of the relationship but are deathly afraid of what the single life will have in store for you. Having herpes is difficult enough, but having herpes and being in a relationship made you feel safe – now having the virus and the thought of being single is depressing.
First know that you are not alone. You’ve likely heard all of the statistics regarding the number of people with either HSV-1 or HSV-2, and you’ve likely heard the spiel about how it isn’t “that serious” – but to you it is, and exposing yourself to a mean unforgiving public isn’t a task you’re up for at the moment.
Here are a few things for you to think about:
1. Never bargain away your happiness: Your ultimate happiness is not a bargaining chip to be traded away for something less valuable. Remember the saying – “when you settle for less, you usually get less than you settled for”. Or as one r&b songstress sung ” the things that we accept, will be the things that we regret”. Make no mistake about it, if you stay in your current relationship simply because you are afraid to venture outside of your comfort zone, you are making a grave mistake. Your feelings will soon turn to bitterness, resentment and hatred. Who wants to be in a relationship that’s full of those types of negative and life sucking emotions?
2. Herpes does not define you: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, allow us to remind you one more time that you are NOT alone. There are millions of people with oral and genital herpes, and hundreds of thousands of single people – looking for love and happiness just like you are. If you are full of guilt and shame, you will attract people who feed on and exploit that. If you walk in acceptance, happiness and comfort- people will reciprocate that as well.
3. You have options: Despite what others have said, regardless of how herpes always seems to be the butt of the joke (no pun intended) – you do have options. There are thousands of couples where one person in the relationship has herpes, and the other does not. Not only that – but there are online dating sites dedicated to helping people with HSV find successful relationships.
Staying in a relationship at the risk of compromising your happiness and complete fulfilment is never a good idea. Don’t be afraid to step out on your own and explore your options.